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Saturday, 29 March 2008

okay, I'm ready to share now.

apples, pears, peaches, nectarines, plums, cherries, eggplant, and pine nuts...oh my!

As a small child, I loved cherries so much that I'd eat them by the bagful. Today at age 23, I can't even remember how cherries taste. You see, at some point during those early years, my body decided to rebel and I developed mild but intolerable allergies to the foods above that resulted in hot swollen itchiness in my mouth and throat and--in more extreme cases--crippling stomach aches.

Jump to just three months ago at a Christian conference in Kansas City, MO. After learning about my food allergies, a woman almost reflexively responded "Why don't you pray for healing?" ...what? I mean I know God is all powerful and amazing and all that, but praying to the Almighty for allergies? Such a presumptuous idea had never entered my mind. After all, this is something petty that I've lived with for almost all of my conscious life. Why should I ask God for such a silly thing?.....but then again, why not?

Now a mere three weekends ago. On the last night of my women's prayer group retreat, 7 remaining people laid their hands on me and prayed intensely for my allergies. I myself hadn't perceived any sort of physical change to my body, and we eventually moved on. But the next morning, I remembered that prayer. And as other people anxiously watched on, I cut a big shiny red apple the same way I had seen my dad do it so many times before.

And then with no expectations, I took a bite.

and then another. and on and on until slowly slowly it dawned on me: now wait a second...this might really be happening. I'm eating an apple with absolutely no reaction. My God! I'm eating an apple! Soon after came the tears. That God would grant such a humble yet fervent request for no reason other than to pour down more and more joy, more and more freedom...I cannot begin to tell you how delicious that apple was.

Since then, I have tried so many different varieties of previously forbidden fruit, and I've learned quite a lot along the way! I've learned that I absolutely love pears. I've learned that plums are too juicy to really cut. That you have to twist, not pull, two halves of a peach to get them apart. I've learned that I still can't eat some fruits and thats ok. And I've learned that not everyone knows how to rejoice with me and that's ok too. There's been so much to explore and reflect and learn, but at the end of the day, I keep finding myself returning to the same words: Praise praise God! Glory glory glory!

Now when do cherries come into season?

Song of Solomon 2:3
As an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men.
With great delight I sat in his shadow, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

Monday, 10 September 2007

Thursday, 21 June 2007

my first born!
+ one on the way!

mama'd be so proud...

Friday, 11 May 2007

Stolen from Joan's xanga, this quote really spoke to me:

"Our life is a short time in expectation, a time in which sadness and joy kiss each other at every moment. There is a quality of sadness that pervades all the moments of our life. It seems that there is no such thing as a clear-cut pure joy, but that even in the most happy moments of our existence we sense a tinge of sadness. In every satisfaction, there is an awareness of limitations. In every success, there is the fear of jealousy. Behind every smile, there is a tear. In every embrace, there is loneliness. In every friendship, distance. And in all forms of light, there is the knowledge of surrounding darkness...But this intimate experience in which every bit of life is touched by a bit of death can point us beyond the limits of our existence. It can do so by making us look forward in expectation to the day when our hearts will be filled with perfect joy, a joy that no one shall take away from us." --Henri Nouwen

I've been thinking and praying a lot lately about letting go of my past and the hardness/coldness it's built up in me. I see other people who are seemingly bright and shiny, free of cynicism--and I think 'how free it'd be to live like that and to love like that.' But how do you let go of the past without trivializing it? Although my life has changed a lot since starting college, there is something in me that still gravitates towards the struggles of my past and how it's defined who I am today.

I'm slowly realizing that ultimately it's not a matter of abandoning the past for a new me. It's an ongoing narrative in which God works and wrestles with the very things I can't seem to give up. And the irony here is that I asked for this.

Wednesday, 24 January 2007

A lot's happened already in 2007, but I will post pics later.

FIRST! Take a look at the cutest cutest doggie EVER.

This is a French bulldog...my faaaaavorite! Isn't he adorable?!

We saw him at the Ferry Building during the farmer's market

He's eyeing the leftover dim sum--my kind of dog

Isn't the little red jacket SO ADORABLE?!!

One day I'll get allergy shots, get over my germ phobia, get a french bulldog, AND a cute red jacket! ONE DAY!